Hello and Happy March! Today's the day for the monthly meeting of The Insecure Writer's Support Group, brought to you by our Ninja founder Alex J. Cavanaugh. To see Alex's co-hosts for today, view the list of members, or sign up for the group yourself, visit the IWSG page here.
I've realized recently that over the past year and a half I've spent far more time talking about writing and thinking about writing than I have actually writing. As a result, except for my Baby Moo stories, I haven't written anything I've liked in two years now.
My problems seemed to start when I became obsessed with getting more books published, and convinced myself that I had to write a long series so that I could get at least one book out every year. When my focus became getting published, I didn't enjoy writing and I couldn't even come up with story ideas that I liked. Everything I wrote felt forced.
Before I knew it, writing, or more accurately, the lack thereof, became a source of anxiety and frustration. I've struggled with anxiety and depression many times in my life, and writing was one of the few things that always helped me come out of those periods. Yet somehow it all got turned upside down.
I started thinking about my first stories and how much I loved writing them. I realized I wanted to feel that way again, and was reminded of a quote from one of my favorite books, Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott.
I still encourage anyone who feels at all compelled to write to do so. I just try to warn people who hope to get published that publication is not all it is cracked up to be. But writing is. Writing has so much to give, so much to teach, so many surprises. That thing you had to force yourself to do---the actual act of writing---turns out to be the best part. It's like discovering that while you thought you needed the tea ceremony for the caffeine, what you really needed was the tea ceremony. The act of writing turns out to be its own reward.
This quote struck a chord with me the first time I read it, and it does so even more now.
I've started a new story, and I've realized once again how much the act of writing means to me. I love bringing life to characters that exist only in my head. I love writing dialogue. I love when a scene comes together so perfectly it makes me grin from ear to ear all the while my fingers tap away on the keyboard.
It's been a pleasure to rediscover the reward of writing, without worrying about publishing or marketing. That will come in time. But for now I just want to write because I love doing it.
I want to write because writing makes me happy. And as Lucy said, that's a helluva start. :)