It's time for the March meeting of the Insecure Writer's Support Group and, as always, I want to send a huge thank you to Alex J. Cavanaugh for hosting the group. If you haven't already checked out Alex's new book, CassaFire, I highly recommend it.
The timing of this month's group couldn't be better for me, as I've been really struggling with my own personal insecurity hag while working on editing and revising the first draft of my WIP. It's not enough that the hag has disrupted my waking hours, she has now even invaded my dreams.
Recently I had a dream where I was at my sister's house, and she had just read my first draft. She sat down on her couch with a very serious expression and told me that she was sorry, but my story was the worst thing she'd ever read and it was all she could do to stay awake reading it. I was taken aback and told her she didn't have to be quite so harsh, and she said she felt she had to be brutally honest so I accepted my failures and didn't humiliate myself any further. She kept going on that I needed to just stop right now and be done with it. Basically, she was Simon Cowell, and I was a pitiful tone-deaf singer struggling through an audition.
My sister was offended by the dream, as she wondered why I would turn her into such a nasty hag in my subconscious. It was actually a bit funny, as my sister has always been very supportive and one of my biggest cheerleaders, and even if she didn't like my work I know she would never cut me down like she did in this dream.
But the dream was obviously a representation of the anxiety I have been struggling with since starting on my revisions. Have you ever had your insecurity take over your dreams? I can't deny I hope this is one dream I won't have again.
At any rate, I'm trying to shut out the insecurities both when I'm awake and when I'm asleep and just continue on with the writing.
To that end, I don't think I'll be blogging for the rest of the month, as I really want to focus on my revisions and see if I can come up with a second draft that works for me. I also need to start writing my posts for the A-Z Challenge. I've had my topics in mind since January and planned to get everything started back then but, as is my habit, I've managed to put everything off until the last minute again. So I think I am going to step back from blogging for the rest of March and come back strong for the Challenge.
Speaking of, if you haven't signed up for the A-Z in April Challenge yet, I can't recommend it enough! I can say without hesitation that signing up for last year's Challenge was the best blogging decision I've made. Check out the A-Z site for all the details and sign-up info.
Thanks again to Alex for hosting today's group, and I hope everyone is coming out on the winning end of your battles with insecurity.