IWSG and Writing for the Love of It

Hello and Happy March! Today's the day for the monthly meeting of The Insecure Writer's Support Group, brought to you by our Ninja founder Alex J. Cavanaugh. To see Alex's co-hosts for today, view the list of members, or sign up for the group yourself, visit the IWSG page here.

I've realized recently that over the past year and a half I've spent far more time talking about writing and thinking about writing than I have actually writing. As a result, except for my Baby Moo stories, I haven't written anything I've liked in two years now.

My problems seemed to start when I became obsessed with getting more books published, and convinced myself that I had to write a long series so that I could get at least one book out every year. When my focus became getting published, I didn't enjoy writing and I couldn't even come up with story ideas that I liked. Everything I wrote felt forced.

Before I knew it, writing, or more accurately, the lack thereof, became a source of anxiety and frustration. I've struggled with anxiety and depression many times in my life, and writing was one of the few things that always helped me come out of those periods. Yet somehow it all got turned upside down.

I started thinking about my first stories and how much I loved writing them. I realized I wanted to feel that way again, and was reminded of a quote from one of my favorite books, Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott.

I still encourage anyone who feels at all compelled to write to do so. I just try to warn people who hope to get published that publication is not all it is cracked up to be. But writing is. Writing has so much to give, so much to teach, so many surprises. That thing you had to force yourself to do---the actual act of writing---turns out to be the best part. It's like discovering that while you thought you needed the tea ceremony for the caffeine, what you really needed was the tea ceremony. The act of writing turns out to be its own reward.

This quote struck a chord with me the first time I read it, and it does so even more now.

I've started a new story, and I've realized once again how much the act of writing means to me. I love bringing life to characters that exist only in my head. I love writing dialogue. I love when a scene comes together so perfectly it makes me grin from ear to ear all the while my fingers tap away on the keyboard.

It's been a pleasure to rediscover the reward of writing, without worrying about publishing or marketing. That will come in time. But for now I just want to write because I love doing it.

I want to write because writing makes me happy. And as Lucy said, that's a helluva start. :)

Catching Up

I haven't been blogging much in the past few weeks since I started editing and revising my WIP and found the task to be more overwhelming than I expected. Yikes! I knew the job was going to be difficult, but I admit I am pulling my hair out more than I anticipated.

During this time I was tagged by three great bloggers, Annalisa Crawford, Nutschell of The Writing Nut, and The Armchair Squid, and I want to catch up now and say thank you so much to all three of them for thinking of me!

Each tag came with 10 questions, but I worried I would bore everyone to death if I answered all 30 of them, so I thought I would just take 5 from each and post my answers to 15 questions. Hopefully that won't be too long! The first 5 are from Armchair, the second 5 from Nutschell, and the last 5 are from Annalisa. It was fun to think of answers to all of these. 


1. What is your dream vacation?

I'd love to drive around and explore the western United States, seeing the Rocky Mountains, visiting national parks like Yellowstone and Zion, going back to the Grand Canyon, and ending up in my favorite city I've ever visited, San Francisco. I love what I've seen of the West, and would love to have all the time in the world to explore more of it.

Rocky Mountain Gateway

2. Tell us one thing you want to do but don't dare do it.

I really want to learn to swim. I tried more than once as a child, but was very afraid of the water. Now I'm chicken to take lessons as an adult.

3. What's your biggest phobia?

I'm very uncomfortable in elevators and I hate to be in tightly enclosed spaces.

4. Name three blessings in your life.

1. I had a happy childhood and am fortunate to have a close and loving family. As I've grown older I've learned what a blessing that is. 2. I am in good health, knock on wood. 3. I have discovered this amazing opportunity to transform my life through writing, and so far it has been one of the biggest blessings of my life.

5. What is your favorite quote?

I have several, but if I had to pick just one I think it would be this:  

It is never too late to be what you might have been ~ George Eliot

6.  What’s your ultimate caffeine source?

Coffee, coffee, and more coffee.

Source

7. Favorite music source? (Radio, Pandora, Spotify, CD, Ipod, etc)

My Ipod is one of my favorite toys I've ever owned. I can't live without it.  

8. Favorite Writing book?

Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott

9. Favorite TV show?

I'm a total tv junkie so it's nearly impossible for me to pick just one, but of the shows on the air right now I'd say Game of Thrones is my favorite. I can't wait for it to return next month. 

10. Harry Potter or Twilight?

Harry all the way. I totally love the Harry Potter series, and I'm not a Twilight fan, so this one was easy. 

11. Which book, that you're supposed to love, do you actually hate?

Pride and Prejudice. I know it's almost considered blasphemous, but I don't enjoy Jane Austen. Flame away, I can take it. :D

12. Can you remember your first teacher?

Yes. My kindergarten teacher was Mrs. Phillips. At the time I thought she was old, but I think now she was probably only about 22. Perspectives change a great deal!

13. In which order should Star Wars be watched: IV, V, VI, I, II, III or I, II, III, IV, V, VI?

I confess I've never seen I or II. I did see III and didn't care for it. So I am just going to say IV, V, VI. 

14. Which fictional character would you like to be for a day?

Sookie Stackhouse. I don't even like the character, but having Eric Northman drooling over me would be a nice way to spend the day. :D

Eric Northman

15. Do you still have your first teddy bear? (I do.)

I do, too, and it is a very beat up and dearly loved Winnie the Pooh.

So those are my 15 questions and answers. I hope I haven't put everyone to sleep! Thanks again to Armchair, Nutschell, and Annalisa for tagging me. If you're not already familiar with their blogs, I highly recommend all 3 of them.


Now back to revising and pulling out what remains of my hair. ;)

My Favorite Thing About Writing

 Tuesday, November 1, 2011
"What is your favourite part about writing?"

This was the prompt for the first day of NaBloPoMo, but as I had already written a general post for Tuesday I didn't use it at that time. I was thinking more about the question though, and decided to go back to it today, as I came to a realization this week about what I love most about writing.

Except for the daily blogging, I didn't do much writing this week. In fact, I managed just one day of work on my WIP, Polar Night. I only wrote about 2,000 words, but the time I spent doing so brought me to this post.

In recent years, I've struggled a great deal with anxiety. This is primarily because of real life issues that are stressful to me, but in addition, I think it is just part of the way I'm wired. I'm prone to anxiety in the same way I'm prone to motion sickness and skin allergies.

At any rate, this week was a difficult one for me on this front. But as I looked back on the week today, I realized that the time I had spent writing had been the time that I could best banish the anxiety, and feel the most relaxed and content.

I've tried all kinds of things to deal with managing stress, and I have found that exercising regularly is a great help to me. But nothing works as well as writing, and somehow just sitting down with my laptop and putting words together helps me relax in a way nothing else does.

This realization reminded me of a passage from one of my favorite books, Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott.

"Writing has so much to give, so much to teach, so many surprises. The thing you had to force yourself to do - the actual act of writing - turns out to be the best part. It's like discovering that while you thought you needed the tea ceremony for the caffeine, what you really needed was the tea ceremony. The act of writing turns out to be its own reward."  ~ Bird by Bird, page xxvi

This was the case for me this week. While I didn't do a large amount of writing, what I did was indeed its own reward.

Writing is the best antidote for anxiety that I've ever found, and I don't know of a better way to take a break from the inevitable stress of the "real world" than by sitting down and simply writing.

I'm looking forward to a weekend of doing just that, and I know that even if I get stuck on a chapter or struggle to find just the right words, I will still feel the reward that comes from the act of writing itself.

That is my favorite thing about writing, and the reason I'm so glad I discovered, however late, the joy that it can bring.

Happy Friday to all, and I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend ahead. :)

More Weekend Inspiration

I had a much better week this week than last, and managed to make it through without falling on anything, or getting into any altercations with angry stinging insects.  It was also a much more productive week, and I felt like I actually made some progress on various writing-related matters. It's kind of amazing how just a small amount of progress can make you feel like you're finally getting yourself back on track. 

I didn't have a great deal of time to devote to the A to Z Visitors Hop this week, but I did make it to a few sites. Of the sites I did visit, the majority were either shut down or hadn't been updated in months, so I didn't really find any new blogs to highlight on this week's hop.

This made me think of my own blogging experience though, and the fact that I am more than a little amazed that I am still blogging on a regular basis. To say that I have a history of trying things only to quit before I even gave them a chance is an understatement. And I admit, when I was first blogging back in January and February, there were plenty of times I thought, this is not for me, I'm not comfortable with this, I hate it, etc.  

Quitting would have been a familiar and all too easy choice, and I can't say enough how glad I am that I didn't revert to my usual pattern. Seven months in, and I can't imagine giving up the blog. I'm thrilled that I have met so many great people and learned so much along the way, and I now look forward to opening up my dashboard (when Google is cooperating!) and checking in to see what's new with my blogging buddies.  

For the record, I do not mean this to be critical of any of the blogs I came upon that had not been updated or were defunct. Hopping through them just made me think about my own blogging experience, and how many times I thought about taking the blog down. I couldn't help but relate this experience to my writing journey as well. There have been plenty of times I've thought I should quit that, in spite of the fact that I've barely started it. 

I'm glad that I haven't done that, and I don't intend to any time soon. As I thought about the week, I was reminded of this quote from one of my favorite books, Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott.

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up. ~ Anne Lamott

Whatever you're hoping and waiting for, whether or not it is writing-related, I hope you don't give up.  

W is for Writing Advice

I've spent a ton of time in recent months reading writing books, taking writing courses, and visiting writing sites, and I have found more wonderful advice than I could ever possibly list, or even remember. At times I have felt like I've gone a bit overboard, and I need to take a step back from reading about writing and just focus on the writing itself. That's one reason this A-Z Challenge has been great for me, as it's helped me to become more disciplined about writing every day. I hope I'm able to continue with that discipline once the Challenge is over.

But back to the writing advice, I have to say that there is one book that has resonated with me more than anything else I have read so far, and that book is Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. I read it recently, and it's not only my favorite writing book, it's one of my favorite books I've ever read.

I've seen this book mentioned on several blogs so I know lots of people have already read it, but I just wanted to share this one paragraph as it really spoke to me, and made me realize that I have been worried about the wrong things with writing. I've worried that if I don't get published immediately I will be a failure, and I've worried that there is no point to what I'm doing if I don't write the next War and Peace or some other masterpiece. But this paragraph made me remember why I started writing in the first place, and it had nothing to do with either of those worries.

"I just try to warn people who hope to get published that publication is not all that it is cracked up to be. But writing is. Writing has so much to give, so much to teach, so many surprises. The thing you had to force yourself to do - the actual act of writing - turns out to be the best part. It's like discovering that while you thought you needed the tea ceremony for the caffeine, what you really needed was the tea ceremony. The act of writing turns out to be its own reward."  ~ Bird by Bird, page xxvi

The idea of writing being its own reward is something I had kind of forgotten about, but it is the absolute truth. Of course, I still want to work towards publication, and that is my goal, but I need to remember that no matter what happens, I will still be doing something I love, which is writing. And that alone is a priceless reward.

Near the end of the book, Ms. Lamott sums her views on writing up, and this paragraph was another one that really resonated with me. I felt like she was describing me here.

"No matter what happens in terms of fame and fortune, dedication to writing is a marching step forward from where you were before, when you didn't care about reaching out to the world, when you weren't hoping to contribute, when you were just standing there doing some job into which you had fallen." ~ Bird by Bird, page 235

 

I can't imagine a better way to look at writing and, for me at least, it is definitely a "marching step forward."

This book is the best writing advice I've ever received, as it made me remember that the writing itself is what really matters, and whatever writing I'm doing is okay. It doesn't have to be the next masterpiece, or the next NYT bestseller (although I'd sure like it to be!) to matter. If it's a blog post about Count Von Count, that matters too. ;)

It's fun and I love doing it, and that's reward enough. I'm really grateful to Ms. Lamott for reminding me of this, and I know I will return to her book again and again. To anyone who hasn't read it, I can't recommend it enough.